is the first time since I Hope OPD account. It's just weird.
And despite all my efforts, I can not help but dream. Dream a little blastocyst looking for a small place and settled quietly in the lining of the uterus.
I can not help not to interpret the slightest signs: the nipples that hurt (although I know that all the hormones I take are for many), fatigue (probably due to Utro ), migraines and ovaries, which pull, the pain I had yesterday morning in the lower abdomen. And worse, having seen the episode of Cold Case with the song "My only sunshine " I had seen shortly before the test and know that Hope was there. Well of course when I saw it in the program, I said right away zhom I wanted to watch and finally I cried for almost half of the episode ... And I went to bed right after because I'm really tired.
And with those dreams and psychotages , I'm scared too. Afraid to wear my bag on 3 floors with the books I brought back the correct order (thank you my zhom love that does it for me and thank you for the kitty litter), afraid to eat n ' matter what meat it is full of fear of "germs." I ate a slice of sausage without thinking to drink Saturday night and when I realized I had to restrain myself not to cry. Same for the bathroom that I wanted to clean up Sunday. Smelling the odor, I am saved from the bathroom in tears halfway and I waited 15 minutes to calm myself before going to flush without touching anything with a cloth to his nose ... Me also washed their hands countless times a day. Me will eventually wear them out.
And all this, so I'm afraid that if my dream baby is here, I did something "wrong" and let him go ...
To summarize the bread that I just wrote, I feel to be half mad. I hope to pass in 5 minutes crying and fatigue does not help me. So I wait for my period in 1 week. If they do not come, I'll do a test on Saturday morning. 10 days it seems so long ...
And finally beauty in this message, I send a lot of good vibes to Farfalle . Hang !
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